yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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