Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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