we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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