Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize