and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize