I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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