I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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