I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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