But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
