paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he shaved USA in his pubs
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
