I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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