You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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