I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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