i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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