I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
