Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
