i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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