her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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