I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i think my cat just said my name.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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