and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
