Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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