I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
