The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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