come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
