Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
