I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
how does that bad decision feel?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
