I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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