About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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