I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
