Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
