Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I think i got beer on your cat.
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