i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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