pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
