How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
