just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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