what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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