You're completely useless in the revolution.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
