I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
