I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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