You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
