I can text with my tongue
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gift wrapped bread.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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