Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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