Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
