whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
