I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
