i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
