fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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