But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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