I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
