so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
