I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
if i died would you start the facebook group?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
