I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
