You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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