Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
