So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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