Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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