dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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