Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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