i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
