Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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