she smelled like a LAN party
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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