elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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