And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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