he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
